When Mr. Right proves to be Mr. Wrong


By Karenina Yaptinchay

“MR. RIGHT – Handsome, elegant, attentive to your every need. A man who is prepared to spend the rest of his life with you, even accepting all your faults—not that he sees any of them. As well as adoring you he is gloriously rich and will lavish you with your every want. Hold onto him and never let him go. You’re a perfect match.”

The description of Mr. Right was written in a piece of paper inside an envelope, which I had picked during an exercise that supposedly demonstrated the power of one’s mind.

A “mind expert” had entertained guests at an event I recently attended. Unfortunately, the entertainment was partly at my expense. The expert asked the crowd who among the ladies were still single and looking for Mr. Right. Eyes moved suspiciously across the room. There were about three of us who hesitantly raised our hands, conscious about the judgments that might float upon the discovery of one’s singlehood.

It was awkward and uncomfortable. I was tempted to lie and pretend I am currently in this perfect relationship just to keep me from subjecting myself from potential humiliation. But then again, there is really nothing to be ashamed of. Or is there? What the heck! I am single and I will wave the singlehood flag if I have to. Let the world know I am single and searching for Mr. Right.

Because I was standing closest to the entertainer, he picked me as the unwitting subject of the experiment. The pressure was on.

Aside from the fact that I had to admit in front of the crowd that I was single and searching for my partner, I also had to show them if I could pick out Mr. Right in the name of entertainment and in front of an audience. This was the point when I forgot why I raised my freaking hand in the first place.

He asked me to shuffle nine envelopes, each labelled “Mr. Right,” lay them on the table, and then eliminate eight of them. The idea is to be left with only one envelope, which would contain the name of the person I will meet sometime within the next nine days. I eliminated Peter, Phil, David, and five other men whose names I could no longer remember. The remaining envelope contained Mr. Right, as described above. Applause. Applause.

Everyone was entertained and amazed. It was a neat trick. If only it were true, I could confidently say I would no longer wonder whether or not I would be single forever. The search is finally over. Mr. Right is just around the corner. And all I need to do is just sit back, relax, and wait for Mr. Right to prance into my life in a week or two.

Of course, it was a trick. He tricked me into picking a particular envelope. It was downright smart of him to lead me into picking the right one lest he would experience a first-hand wrath of a single woman. He had to give me something for subjecting my single self to potential public humiliation.

A friend later told me how the trick was done. It was infallible. With the rules on which I based the elimination, it was very easy for me to be lured into choosing a particular envelope.

The mind expert instructed me to eliminate only one envelope at a time. He picks two and I eliminate one of the two. And then I pick two, from which he will pick one for elimination. It seemed very random but when you think about it, everything was orchestrated.

Pretty much like reality. We follow certain rules, most of which are imposed by our peers and society in general. More often than not, we are led or pressured to find Mr. Right.

In our search for Mr. Right, we also use the elimination process. We eliminate those who do not possess the characteristics that we look for. We eliminate those whom we feel are wrong for us and narrow it down to the right one. Unfortunately, it is never that simple. Most of the time, we have very few choices, usually fewer than eight candidates for elimination.

Sometimes, we don’t even get choices anymore. We just convince ourselves we will probably find Mr. Right with enough luck and perhaps a whole lot of determination.

In some cases, we may even be tricked into picking a Mr. Right. Some years ago, I was convinced by my friends that I found my perfect match, my Mr. Right. My so-called Mr. Right also took part in convincing me he was the right one. Not too long after, I had myself convinced as well. And not too long after that, I had to unconvince myself because Mr. Right was proving himself to be Mr. Wrong.

Given the reality and the way society operates, I wonder if Mr. Right truly exists. With the description above, it seems unlikely. No one could be that perfect. We could be lucky just to find one or two of those characteristics in one person.

But is there really Mr. Right? Or, as they say in jest, just Mr. Right Now?

Most people simply settle for Mr. Right Now. After all, there is no assurance if Mr. Right would ever come along, if at all he exists. The tricky part is that the obsession with the pursuit of the right person sometimes muddles our perception of who is right for us. In some cases, we find ourselves putting too much effort on Mr. Wrong that we just try to make it right no matter what the cost.

Single people long to find Mr. Right in the hope of ending singlehood misery. But does Mr. Right really solve the problem? I don’t think so. Mr. Right will only help us get rid of our single status. But we can only get rid of our miserable status if we start doing something about it, with or without Mr. Right. Right?

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referrence :
http://www.manilastandardtoday.com/?page=goodLife02_may26_2005
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Sana hindi ako ma-demanda! I only wish to disseminate info and not get any lawsuit. LMAO!
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